I keep on hoping that people accept, invite, and even encourage difference in this world... we are all different, and this variety makes this world so interesting... yet so many of us can't appreciate this difference, and this makes life for a lot of people unconfortable and difficult... so my wish for 2009 and beyond is that people start seeing how similar we actually are in spite of our varied colors...
- M.B.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Here's what i think about being a woman... so far its flawed and confused but current...
All my life, everyone in my family, with my maternal grandmother being an exception, has told me that I can do anything I want to do. It was heart warming, inspiring and encouraging and has brought me to where I am today, a 22 yrd old woman, in deep deep love and deep deep hatred of the world. The wonderful thing about my grandmother's pessimism wasthat she is real and that she is honest. At the end of the day, she hopes that I will conquer the mountain, score the job, win the race, whatever I set out to do. She doesnt root against me or make me feel lesser than I should but she has told me time and time again that in our world, women are not set up for prosperity. Which is not to say that we will never win a battle but that we will have to overcome men first...and the war will be an even harder fight.
I am no man hating woman. Falling in love is ethereal. Laughter, art, comfort, warmth, making love; its all wonderful. But the point is that women are 2nd class...
We are made powerless simply because in a weightlifting contest we are the underdogs.
Im very solidly rooted in this position, although Im still trying to figure out how my life falls into this.
Once an idealist, I am more and more being frustrated with my initial optimism for the XY people.
The transition from heartbreak to freedom, helplessness to strength, and finding true love out of independence has brought me to a place that is frivolous, light and airy. My heart still has heavy days but in general, I am the red balloon you let loose on a windy day at the carnival. I live frivolously, and carelessly only because if I followed the rules that we are so desperately trying to change, I would be tied to the child and let deflate in a room that will only consider me trash. At least in the ocean, a turtle will be tricked into thinking I am nourishment.
Being a woman is tough. I am constantly conquered but for now I follow the air, and try my best to be untamed and wreckless.
The end.
- G.B.
All my life, everyone in my family, with my maternal grandmother being an exception, has told me that I can do anything I want to do. It was heart warming, inspiring and encouraging and has brought me to where I am today, a 22 yrd old woman, in deep deep love and deep deep hatred of the world. The wonderful thing about my grandmother's pessimism wasthat she is real and that she is honest. At the end of the day, she hopes that I will conquer the mountain, score the job, win the race, whatever I set out to do. She doesnt root against me or make me feel lesser than I should but she has told me time and time again that in our world, women are not set up for prosperity. Which is not to say that we will never win a battle but that we will have to overcome men first...and the war will be an even harder fight.
I am no man hating woman. Falling in love is ethereal. Laughter, art, comfort, warmth, making love; its all wonderful. But the point is that women are 2nd class...
We are made powerless simply because in a weightlifting contest we are the underdogs.
Im very solidly rooted in this position, although Im still trying to figure out how my life falls into this.
Once an idealist, I am more and more being frustrated with my initial optimism for the XY people.
The transition from heartbreak to freedom, helplessness to strength, and finding true love out of independence has brought me to a place that is frivolous, light and airy. My heart still has heavy days but in general, I am the red balloon you let loose on a windy day at the carnival. I live frivolously, and carelessly only because if I followed the rules that we are so desperately trying to change, I would be tied to the child and let deflate in a room that will only consider me trash. At least in the ocean, a turtle will be tricked into thinking I am nourishment.
Being a woman is tough. I am constantly conquered but for now I follow the air, and try my best to be untamed and wreckless.
The end.
- G.B.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Ageism and Loving Thyself
Part of defining myself, is how I define the world.
I find that when I broaden my horizons, opening myself to understand others, that is when I understand myself a little more. This is particularly true when I consider age and ageism.
Rosanna Arquette made this great documentary called Searching for Debra Winger. Debra Winger is an actress that was in the prime of her popularity and then, out of nowhere, retired and has had very little to do with acting since. Arquette uses this as a platform to interview actresses of all ages, questioning why women disappear from the screen right when they hit 40 or get a wrinkle.
There are slowly more movies coming out that deal issues facing women older than 20. One is the new movie with Emma Thompson. It is about an 'older' (40) woman falling in love with an older (71) man.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-12-03/old-is-the-new-sexy/1/
One of the greatest things about this interview is Thompson's description of love and romance as things that get better with time. Her reasoning is because, when you are older, you are not ashamed or scared of not being able to have kids or be financially secure, so you are more willing to be yourself and risk asking for what you want.
That leads me to me. I don't want to be old to know what I want and be myself. This is easier said than done. Especially in relationships. Especially when I am starting to fall in love and I feel the need to do anything and everything to keep it. But actually, as countless books describe, the more I go for what I want and the more I feel I am being myself (which, here, I define as saying, doing, being, joking how I want and feel) the more attractive I become.
So often, by controlling things outside of me, like men or relationships, I forget about the one thing I can control: myself. More importantly, if I release the world and do what is on my heart, I actually am more free and able to love myself. I'd like to be able to do that at 24 as easily as 44 or 74.....
I find that when I broaden my horizons, opening myself to understand others, that is when I understand myself a little more. This is particularly true when I consider age and ageism.
Rosanna Arquette made this great documentary called Searching for Debra Winger. Debra Winger is an actress that was in the prime of her popularity and then, out of nowhere, retired and has had very little to do with acting since. Arquette uses this as a platform to interview actresses of all ages, questioning why women disappear from the screen right when they hit 40 or get a wrinkle.
There are slowly more movies coming out that deal issues facing women older than 20. One is the new movie with Emma Thompson. It is about an 'older' (40) woman falling in love with an older (71) man.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-12-03/old-is-the-new-sexy/1/
One of the greatest things about this interview is Thompson's description of love and romance as things that get better with time. Her reasoning is because, when you are older, you are not ashamed or scared of not being able to have kids or be financially secure, so you are more willing to be yourself and risk asking for what you want.
That leads me to me. I don't want to be old to know what I want and be myself. This is easier said than done. Especially in relationships. Especially when I am starting to fall in love and I feel the need to do anything and everything to keep it. But actually, as countless books describe, the more I go for what I want and the more I feel I am being myself (which, here, I define as saying, doing, being, joking how I want and feel) the more attractive I become.
So often, by controlling things outside of me, like men or relationships, I forget about the one thing I can control: myself. More importantly, if I release the world and do what is on my heart, I actually am more free and able to love myself. I'd like to be able to do that at 24 as easily as 44 or 74.....
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