Ageism and Loving Thyself

Part of defining myself, is how I define the world.

I find that when I broaden my horizons, opening myself to understand others, that is when I understand myself a little more. This is particularly true when I consider age and ageism.

Rosanna Arquette made this great documentary called Searching for Debra Winger. Debra Winger is an actress that was in the prime of her popularity and then, out of nowhere, retired and has had very little to do with acting since. Arquette uses this as a platform to interview actresses of all ages, questioning why women disappear from the screen right when they hit 40 or get a wrinkle.

There are slowly more movies coming out that deal issues facing women older than 20. One is the new movie with Emma Thompson. It is about an 'older' (40) woman falling in love with an older (71) man.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-12-03/old-is-the-new-sexy/1/

One of the greatest things about this interview is Thompson's description of love and romance as things that get better with time. Her reasoning is because, when you are older, you are not ashamed or scared of not being able to have kids or be financially secure, so you are more willing to be yourself and risk asking for what you want.

That leads me to me. I don't want to be old to know what I want and be myself. This is easier said than done. Especially in relationships. Especially when I am starting to fall in love and I feel the need to do anything and everything to keep it. But actually, as countless books describe, the more I go for what I want and the more I feel I am being myself (which, here, I define as saying, doing, being, joking how I want and feel) the more attractive I become.

So often, by controlling things outside of me, like men or relationships, I forget about the one thing I can control: myself. More importantly, if I release the world and do what is on my heart, I actually am more free and able to love myself. I'd like to be able to do that at 24 as easily as 44 or 74.....